I’m back after a two-week absence with a new episode! Why the missed week? Well, it just so happens that I’ve discovered the secret to weight loss, and I simply had to miss last week’s episode in order to show that it really works.
That’s right – get sick. Get so sick that you can barely eat anything and you’ll see the inches melt off your waist like nobody’s business. Try it like I did… start with a cold that might have been the flu (minimum of one week), then get a throat infection that actually prevents you from eating (or drinking) for a day or two. After about ten days of this, you’ll be several pounds lighter! And don’t worry about your appetite, you won’t have one during the entire ordeal! It’s a foolproof solution.
So get out there and lick a street sign today. Go shake hands with a little kid. Tongue-kiss a few random strangers, perhaps down by the hospital or the nearest doctor’s office. Get sick today!